Monday, July 30, 2007
Barely five days since the last oneThat is, if one would call that a real entry.
Well, a lot of things happened already.
Bewildered during the past few days..
Undergoing recovery from a state of shock.
Thanks for Jaja, Bebie Bea, and Vina for sticking up with me.
Then I hit my head.
The answer hit me really hard.
It felt like I was suddenly awake from nowhere.
TAGOOSH.
Of course I would never tell.
It would ruin the whole thing.
I just have to keep this up.
Oh,
I attended this beautiful garden wedding.
Small crowd, about fifty people gathered around
Solemn ceremonies
Eyes fixed on the couple exchanging sweet glances on each other.
Looks and feels like they're deeply in love.
Awww.
Made me think of my own wedding too. (LOL! NOT soon.)
Then heavy rains during reception
And blackout (because not only the place was stuck in total darkness) during dinner.
Literally candelit.
Enjoy..
I can't see a thing.
Even the food I was eating. Haha!
Yawn.
I just woke up from my afternoon nap.
Is it just me or there really is nothing to do?
Good thing our Econ exam is on Thursday.
We'd be enjoying generous leakage. Bwahaha! (Evil Laugh)
Good thing the faceoff was moved to the 8th.
(Well actually, I cannot escape that one.)
Good thing I already have my biography for PI.
Although I'm not quite sure who she is. Hehe.
Good thing rains are pouring at this very moment.
I would enjoy the full moon tonight.
I'm taking back what I said last July 23rd.
The moon is still the best anti-depressant.
Haha.
No need to be depressed anyway. Ryt? :))
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
:))
Monday, July 23, 2007
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG BUT ME!!!!Arghh.
Yaaa!
*sipa upuan*
*sabunot Gelai*
*punit readings*
*bato Rio*
Haha.Laftrip..
So here I go again, filled with laziness and madness. Tick-tacking those blues away.
Suddenly, I don't miss the moon anymore. Its full brillance and outstanding beauty is almost as dead as the stars already. I guess nights would always be just like this. Cloudy. Lonely...
Full of cockroaches. (Tae na mga ipis yan! Grrrr.)
Haaay. I'm feeling it again.. Siguro I'm finding ways to either escape or accept these events in my life. Kakahanap ko ng mga paraan lalo akong naguguluhan. Si Rasyel kasi flood ng flood ng mga kowtabols..Nakoo a. Tigilan mo yan..
Whatda...tooot! Magulo na naman ang utak ko.
Oh well, guess I might as well go with it.
As I was saying during my last entry..
Wala namang nagmamadali.
It's me who keeps on wondering what would happen next.
It's me who keeps looking for assurances in order to feel safe.
It's me who keeps wanting to hold a hand once again.
It's me who keeps blaming on these feelings..
Anger.
Pain.
Insecurity.
Jealousy.
Sadness.
Fear.
Envy.
And Love.
Lots and lots of love..
Sabi na nga ba,
Ako lang talaga ang engot.
Paki-confine na nga ako. Haha! ;P
Damn these emotions.
Damn this entry..
messing-with-my-name-once-again STARBUCKS.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
A week? Ambilis naman ng huli kong entry! It doesn't feel like a weekalready. Siguro sa dami ng mga nangyari kaya parang tatlong araw palang
yung lumipas. Oh well, siguro next time months na mami-miss ko, then
years.. (Haha! Sa sobrang pre-occupied sa kung anong mga..uhm..bagay
bagay.)
So another Starbucks Thursday for me, Bea and Jaja. Panata na yata
talaga namin ito. Buti nalang may vacant sa loob. We don't want to stress
ourselves sa init sa labas. Buti nalang din napilit namin yung isa - peer
pressure literally! Kasi naman, one minute game na game..the next
parang walang sinabing Oo, sige. Sasama ako. (Magbayad ka na! Haha.
Kiddin!)
So another time to contemplate on things..
Sa ngayon siguro ayaw ko muna masyadong mag-worry on anything. (Except of course sa PI100 na results ng exam, and an upcoming one sa Econ102 next week..plus DS127 activities..Haaay.So much for my break. Ma! Take me to Iloilo with you!) Parang mas magiging madali if I take things slowly..living one day at a time kasi wala namang nagmamadali.
Kahit abutin ng..hmmmm, (ISIP KONTI) graduation? Hahaha. Yes there are a lot of words. Sweet sweet words.. But then again, sabi ko nga sa journal ko He's still trying to rebuild what was left broken.. In short, construction worker ka muna. Haha. LOL. Peace!
So another sound tripping afternoon. While I was drafting this one sa
scribble notebook ko kagabi (Nax. May nalalaman pang drafting ah!) Wag
Ka Nang Umiyak of Sugarfree was playing on the radio. They sang it sa
UPRising. Soothing song. It reminds me of people who had always been
there for me: Vina. Avon pare. Archie bitter. Meli. Cams. Yani pusit. Jo
bisugo. Bea bangus. Jaja tilapia. (and everyone sa trawl fishing sorority.
Haha!) I love you all. Xandra, for your ever gracious efforts of listening to
my ranting (- at two in the morning! Mabuhay ka Sading Bading!) And of
course, people that I didn't mention. You know who you are. A round of
applause from me to all of you.
So another foregone siesta. Huhuhu.. (Sniff) Feel ko tuloy malaki ang
chance na tumaba ako pag ganito. Dahil kulang sa tulog, I result to eating
more than usual para makabawi. Sana pati height ko madamay. LOL. I'd
take the whole weekend to sleep. (Cross-fingered Gelai. May PPT pa
kaming aasikasuhin.) I'm sorry Leigh. I can't come sa ating reunion on
Sat. Please say hi to Chasy, Harold and everyone. Pass muna ako.
(Woshoo. If I know, mag-iinuman lang kayo..) Bahala na rin sa August 4
celebration mo baby girl. Advance happy birthday on July 29th! Tawagan
kita soon.
So another blog entry gone wrong. (Haha!) Hindi ko na kasi alam kung
may sasabihin pa ako. So far, yan nalang muna. Abangan nalang ang mga
susunod na kabanata. Marami pang pwedeng mangyari. It could be better
things, it could be worse, it could be the worst.. Whatever it is, I'd still be
thankful. Syempre naman. Events made me the way I am today. At isa pa,
ganyan talaga ang buhay. Every single day just makes me appreciate life
more and more. (Awww. Hug sarili..)
B-shit.
Wala na akong pera.
Ate Beeya, patay. Happy meal nalang yata talaga. Wahaha! Ssshh.. :))
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Pretend that you're in a room full of friends..Full of familiar faces.
Then this guy would come
A figure who once was a special part of you.
But now
He's just a stranger walking across the room.
You want to let him know how much you like to be forever by his side
To make him feel how much you love him with all your heart.
But then you also recall the times that when you need him
He wasn't there.
The times that when you call on him,
He just don't care.
You also remembered those words,
Those messages
Those warm embraces
Those moments which made you feel the happiest girl in the world
Especially when he calls youNot by name
But by gestures of love
Only he can ever do.
Then this guy returns to just passing in front of you.
The ache still cries from within.
The day he told you
He realized he doesn't really feel that way.
That everything was just a big mistake.
He was impulsive and he was confused
All the while.
No matter how much you tried to understand
You can't.
You just can't.
It took him a few days to realize he never loved you
Despite that kind of treatment
Despite the actions he had shown
Despite the truth that you had fallen for him along the way.
And as this guy glances at your direction from across the room
You just want him gone
Vanished into thin air.
You want him out of your sight
Completely out of your life
You want him to feel
The kind of pain
You have been feeling for the last couple of months now.
That way you wonder,
You might be able to learn to forget him
You might be able to forget the feeling of being 'niloko'
'Pinaniwala'
'Pinaasa'.
That way,
Things may have been easier
That way,
You might have been happier.
You might.
But no.
You can't.
Sadly
No matter how hard you pray at night
He'd still be there.
No matter how you slowly open your eyes in the morning
Hoping everything's alright,
He'd still be there.
And no matter how much you hate loving him
He'd still be there.
And as the room was filled with people you want to be there
It all seems like there's only two of you inside
With you longing to run away,
Yet you can't do anything.
You just stop and stare
Asking yourself when and where did things go wrong
Who's to blame
How to avoid the heartaches.
And as you constantly search for answers,
You stopped pretending to be me.
Bitter and desperate as it may sound,
I want to be like you even for just a little while.
For you can stop.
I can't.
This is my reality.
Sa mga nag-aabang ng kadramahan ko,
Eto na siguro yung pinakamatindi.
Hardcore na ito.
Totohanan.
Walang gaguhan.
Magcomment na yung mga gustong mag-comment.
Baka burahin ko rin itong entry ko sometime soon.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Raindrops falling on my head..La la la..
Showers during midafternoon had already begun.
Though the weather is quite humid in the morning (darn it),
I'd still enjoy the cold breeze after each downpour at night.
It's been a long while since I last had my entry here.
School days haven't even started that time.
Maybe I was just too busy.
Maybe the internet connection wasn't good enough.
Maybe I just don't have anything to say.
Or maybe, I just can't clear my thoughts..yet.
Okay. Enough of the alibis.
Professors are just starting so I haven't figure out if this semester would be a great start of my junior year or a BIG BIG failure.
My majors are well, especially with Dr. Villegas handling two.
Sir Ponsy started giving away toxic readings,
as well as Sir Kargi for our PI 100.
(I hope my exams won't give me a frown sometime soon. Haha.)
I worry more for my Econ.Must pray hard for easy exams
..and a lot harder for strength to withstand his early classes. (Yawn!)
Hmm,
wondering what would happen tomorrow at the Freshmen treat..
Maybe I'd drop by after class.
Teehee.
I finally got to enjoy stuff other than school and home:
WAAAH! BAKIT NGAYON LANG?
It could be a mini concert (Archie and I attended the UPRising -after Yani went home with her date - featuring Sugarfree),
malling with my sister,
reading non-required items, (Camille! I hate myself whenever I remember that Inkspell is still with me.Twin Sis, thank you so much for BLACK SHIRT. I loved the book!)
or simply shopping ('SIMPLY'?) my heart out.
Aw.
Too bad I have to tighten my savings.
Tsk tsk.
No more sweldo..
Belated happy birthday to Jaja by the way.
Although I greeted her for the nth time already,
I can't find of a better way of annoying her.LOL! :))
Kidding aside, I do wish the rest of us going to your place on the 14th could get there -alive.
I'd recall the way when we hop off the bus don't worry.
I trust my sense of direction. (Wenk!)
And if Melissa can simply go with us, it would be super duper great.
Right now, I just miss my best friend.
Since she asked me to help her with her new account, she stopped communicating with me.
Last time I heard she was sick and so I never got the chance to talk to her that long.
I even have to question other people to know if she's doing fine.
I've learned from a friend that their last sem just ended.
I called her at home but she's always not there.
I sent her online messages,
I tried texting her but she seems always busy.
I hope she's just busy.
I hope she didn't forgot me..again.
Oh well, no one can have everything great all at once.
(I still wish I could, even for just a short while.)
GANDA NUN PAG NAGKATAON. :))