Friday, August 24, 2007

Ever recall that time when people asked you what you want to be when you grow up?

I want to be a doctor.
I want to be a policeman.
I want to be a teacher.
I want to be a nun.
I want to be the president.

Titas and amigas would gather around during merienda and wonder why you chose that.
Family friends would tell your mom and dad how brilliant you are.
Your pre-school teacher would even make the class clap for you.

Then during fourth year, people would question your choice once again.
(Especially those not-so-close darn people trying to start a conversation to break the ice.. Kuno.)

Bakit yan?
Wala namang ganyan sa family ninyo di ba?
Ano? Ano yun?
E di ba mahirap yun?

In my case, it was a bit different.
I never dealt with my parents ranting and yelling at me not to choose this, not to do that.
I never experienced the relief of knowing they'll support me on what I would choose.
They thought we were on the same wavelength.
They thought I want what they want.
I never told them what I wanted.
..Or that I ever wanted anything at all.

I have come to like what the world had offered.. (So far)
This kind of family.
This set of (strange) friends.
This type of school.
This unknown course. (Haha)

But if asked if I've liked it ever since,
I don't know.
Maybe because I just told myself this is what you have to do.
(With the threat at the end ''Sige ka! Or else you'd be nothing!'' Haha!)
Maybe because I just told myself I have no other option so I have to.
I could have chosen other things if I wanted to.
People who love me may have had supported my decisions.
But no.
I never insisted on this.
I was never determined to finish that.
Worse, with regards to my future,
I can't even imagine myself heading towards anything except graduation.
(Haha. If I really see myself graduating! LOL.)
After that..then what?

I should have known earlier,
That how I plan the rest of my life is up to me.
(Perhaps I do believe in spontaneity. Darn it, I still don't know.)
That things would not always be required to be that way.
That I must be able to exercise my freedom to choose.

Hmmmm.

Actually, I did.
There was this one time, I made this choice.
I would laugh it all out when I am really happy.
I would cry if things don't go smoothly.
I would go out of my own way just to figure things out.
Then I realized, I SERIOUSLY wanted something already.
Woohoo! (Party ito! Wahaha.) Thank you ha!









Now all I have to do is prove my choice was all worth it.
(Parang mas mahirap itong part na ito. Tsk.)

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Ayan two entries in a day.. Epal kce si RC tagged aku. Haha. Peace tayo. :))

My 7 Random Facts/Habits
1. I just had my phone fixed yesterday (first time since I had it)
2. Currently covering my legs with blanket. Brrr. Anlamig.
3. I hated pink back in HS.
4. Scribbling. Scribbling.
5. Everyone calls me Mae except my college friends.
6. I love my lola's diningding!
7. I never wanted to be anything so badly (yet).


Now i tag Ate Fhai, Paola, Meli, Carla, Archie, Katz and Ate Mipol. Weee!
(Si Sir Ponsy kaya pwede i-tag? Wala lang..)

Thanks to moments of reminiscing HS experiences while eating at McDo.
Entry dedicated to my twin sister Jhen. :))

10. Routinary morning activities
-- Tuwing Lunes, Martes, Miyerkules lamang mayroong Flag Ceremony sa amin
..magbabasa ng bible
..magdadasal
..kakanta ng National Anthem
..magpa-Panatang Makabayan
..kakanta ng College Hymn
-- Every Thursday, BEC kami
(Sharing the Sunday Gospel in small groups composed of one student per grade level, from grade five to ten)
Pinagdadala kami ng crucifix, candle, white cloth at bible
Milagro na kung pagdating ng July may dala pa rin ang mga students
-- Every Friday, Morning Praise
(Waw. Mantakin mong may talent naman kami no! Song and dance pa yan. Haha.)
Yung kakantahin mo nung first year, hanggang fourth year yun pa rin.
Actions lang ang revised
..pati mga kumakanta at sumasayaw sa harap
-- Nag-iiba lang ito tuwing bigayan ng Merit cards after 1st to 3rd quarter exams or pag may launching ng buwang yun, or pag umuulan at sa gym kami

9. Halo-halo, labo-labo teachers
-- Si Mrs.L na hirap kami tukuyin ang given sa mga seatworks niya dahil ang P at F ay iisa.
Overheard sa isang seatwork: ''Anong ba talaga ang sabi sa given? Fork daw ba o pork?''
-- Si Mr.C na ang tawag sa mga estudyante ay anak.
TEACHER: Anak pakisagot mo nga ang number 1.
STUDENT: Sandali lang po itay.
-- Si Mrs.R na sabi niya mahal na mahal niya daw ang section namin, the following year kabaligtaran halos ng mga ipinapakita niya sa amin ang ginawa.
(Bitter kami sa adviser namin na yan!)
-- Si Ms.A na umalis nung first year kami.Iyakan pa nung nagpaalam siyang maga-abroad in two weeks, nakasabay sa misa ng kaklase ko a month after niya magpaalam.
-- Si Ms.R na iniiwan ang klase niya para makipagchismisan kay Ms.J sa labas ng classroom.
--Si Sir A na hinahabol ng mga ka-batch ko pag dumadaan sa hallway dahil sa pabango niyang Vanilla sa Body Shop
..at mga kwento tungkol sa mga mamahaling blackpearls ng kanyang ina.


Meron din nyan sa college profs, yun nga lang baka banatan ulit ako pag kinanchawan ko sila. :))

8. Memorable places outside the campus
-- Daddy's Burger sa tabi ng school na ang specialty ay Pancit Canton at Tapsilog
-- Mandaluyong practices during Sabayang Bigkas at Chorale (epal po kami sa mga public schools tuwing gabi)
-- Maryland tuwing Cheering
-- Studio pictures sa may Sta.Ana at Paco
-- McDo at Jolibee PRC
-- Computer Shops bago mag 7-11
-- Pizza Hut Sta.Ana
-- Outreach na kadalsang nagiging mini fieldtrips

7. Mga tambayan inside the campus
-- Dating Guidance Office
-- Sa labas ng bagong Guidance Office
-- Room na praktisan ng banda
-- Corridors
-- Canteen (kailangan pa ba iexplain to?)
-- Sa may Auditorium (kung gusto mo mapagalitan)
-- Clinic (kung feeling mo magkasakit kahit wala ka namang sakit)
-- Pergula (lalo na kung mahangin..at marami pang hinihintay)
-- Playground (kung balak mo makipag-agawan sa elementary pagkatapos idismiss)
-- Music Dept (kung feel mo lang makiupo..o mag-ghost hunting)
-- SSVP Hall (kung ang hina-hunting ay crush mo sa college)
-- Class room hallways
-- Classroom mismo (latag ng banig, dala ng mini sofa at sariling electric fan, etc.)

6. Programs and competitions
-- Sasabihing may bulletin board contest sa launching program, pagdating ng day before ng judging, dun lang uumpisahang planuhin
The day ng judging, dun lang gagawin. Alam na naming hapon ang judging e
-- Kahit anong sabi na bawal ang trainer sa cheering at sabayang bigkas, meron pa rin sa bawat year.
-- Mas bongga ang culminating kaysa sa launching programs. In short, mas masaya ang mga estudyante dahil mas mahaba ang time na masasapawan sa class schedule.
-- Nung first year, hindi mukhang first year ang ranking namin sa mga competitions
-- Pagdating ng second year, kakampi namin ang third and fourth year kaya ayos lang
-- Kami ang mukhang fourth year nung third year dahil talo lagi batch nila sa amin
-- Never kami nanalo sa third year nung fourth year kami. Haha!

5. Pagkain sa canteen
-- Stay Fresh na hindi kinakain kundi winawalis lang ng mga cleaners
-- Piso-piso na packaging ng cornic, at least P10 naman binibili ng bawat isang estudyante tuwing boring ang susunod na class
-- Yung tapa sa menu ngayon, beef steak na bukas
-- Tinitignan kung gaano ka-flexible ang mga kubyertos tapos pag hindi na maibalik o tinatamad ibalik sa dati, tinatapon nalang
-- Halo-halo food (Wag nyo na iimagine! Dugyot!)
-- Mineral water na ginagawang panghilamos pag sobrang init ng panahon
-- Pag walang trip na pagkain sa canteen, nagpapadeliver kami sa Pizza Hut (o naghihintay ang finished product ng mga THE classes)
-- Mahirap pumunta sa canteen pag umuulan dahil bumabaha. Tiyaga nalang makihingi sa mga nagbabaon ng lunch. Hahaha.
-- Madalas bago ang working student sa cashier. The rest is history. :))

4. Dramahan modes
-- Pag hindi nakapaglinis ng hapon at puro daldal na naman ang adviser sa mga officers, sisihan yan pag-alis ng teacher.
-- Pag hindi naka-comply sa mga requirements para maging cheerdancer
-- Pag may nagawang violation at medyo call-parent or suspended ang katapat
-- Away-away ng mga tropa sa corridor
-- Away-away sa tropa mismo
-- Iyakan ng mga mag-on
-- Iyakan ng mga katext ang ka-on
-- May aalis..na ayaw mong umalis

Konti lang ito. Madalas naman naaayos din e.

3. Mga sumpong AT topak
-- Kuhaan ng gamit at itatago until..uhm, feel nang ibalik
-- Kopyahan and thrill pag pabalik na ang proctor
-- Techniques, tricks and tips kung saan at paano itatago ang cell phone pag nagkakahulihan na
-- Techniques, tricks, and tips kung saan at paano makakagala after class
-- Paano makakakuha ng free stuff sa canteen
-- Nabubuo lang ang cheering routine namin nung fourth year tuwing heavy downpour sa open air ang practice
-- Pang-uuto sa mga lower years (Shucks. Ansama naming mga ate.)
-- Pang-uuto sa mga teachers (Haha. Go figure!)
-- Pang-uuto sa mga personnel at working students (Most of the time, pagpapalusot lang naman ang katapat nila)
-- Pagtitipid sa materials for props (Most of the time recycled kahit hindi naman kailangan)
-- Pagcelebrate ng birthday ng teacher sa schedule niya ng class. Hinahabaan namin ang program para wala nang klase.

2. Uniform
-- Multi-purpose necktie (panyo, pamaypay, pang-ponytail, God knows kung ano pa yung iba)
-- Socks na madalas hindi na nakikita (shorter socks, the better)
-- Nanood kami ng The Phone at The Grudge 2 nung third year
Sigawan kami ng sigawan sa Audio Visual Room
Nagtutulakan kung sino magpapatay ng player
..biglang pasok ng Assistant Principal naming madre na ubod ng taray
Kinagalitan kaming lahat.
Pag-alis niya, dun ko lang na-realize na nakabukas ung automatic buttons ng blouse ko.. (Blush)
-- Ang skirt namin ay pleated.
Pag-uwi ng mga busabos, hndi na makita ang pleats, puro lukot nalang
Pagpasok ng ibang mga busabos, yung lukot pa rin na yun ang makikita mo kinabukasan.LOL
-- Ang skirt ay kinakailangan two inches below the knee (Na madalas two inches above the socks na)

1. Batchmates
-- Forever Seniors Blue Extremes.

Isa namang reunion dyan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!







And oh, Rasyel heard me on the radio nung isang gabi.Landi ko daw.Shatap nga..Haha.Peace tayo. Ehe.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

:))

Monday, August 06, 2007

Tama ba? Ang pagkakaalam ko, this was the same weather for my first blog entry. Waw. It's been a really really long time. Marami nang nangyari, marami nang events (at tao) akong dinamay sa pagsulat ko ng entries. Haha.


This is my typical weather. My kind of rainy day. Staying at home, drinking a cup of coffee or perhaps a nice soup made by my mom or my lola. Kung hindi man, I'm eating noodles and making toasted bread while listening to the sound of the rain on other houses' roofs (dahil hindi ko naman naririnig yung raindrops sa bubong namin).

This is my typical weather. My kind of rainy day. I don't have to worry what people outside are experiencing (oo na, masama na akong tao) or what they are thinking right now. I own the world, my world, surrounded by the four walls, silently sighing on top of my bed. I take over myself. I control everything surrounding me - the empty chair, the soft pillows under me, the electric fan (set to number three! weeee!), the dimmed light above me, the clouds, the wind, the sun hiding behind the grey clouds. I am in power. (Bwahahaha! Evil Laugh.)

This is my typical weather. My kind of rainy day. It gives me time to think.. It really makes me think. And that thinking later on led to me to remembering my dream. Ooohh. The one I had last Sunday was stuck in my mind. The one worth recalling.. to think I was the one looking for him! (So not me.. Napaisip tuloy ako kung anong meron.) I reminisced on those times we were together dati. O well, we're both happy now. Ayos na yun. Nakakamiss lang din pala siya kahit papaano. Haha. (Go figure! :))

This is my typical weather. My kind of rainy day. Music tripping and being stuck in traffic never get as exciting as ever. It gave me reason to appreciate every tiny detail happening around me - mga batang nagbabasaan, how women panic they'd ruin their stockings, how rainwater fills the puddle, and other stuff. And Oh, other than being at home, these are the times I'd love to be stuck inside the mall or even in a fastfood chain (with the money - mahirap makaiwan ng pera sa mga ganitong pagkakataon!) I'd be ever willing to trade places with people who hates being outside that time. (Game! One, two, three!)

This is my typical weather. My kind of rainy day. Literal na pagpapaulan ang ginawa namin kanina. Ulan talaga. Woosh says the wind..walang takbo takbo. No fuzz and worries about the way my hair drips or the way my maong pants were already soaked. Thank you so much to Camille who brought out the 'Gelai Wet Look' in me. It would be real fun if none of us got sick. (Chowee, Yani, Jaja, inom ng vitamins a? Ehe.) That means we can do it again, and again, and again..(adik) Bawal magkasakit! Marami pang kailangang gawin! Haha.


This is my typical weather. My kind of rainy day. Next time, I'd be outside walking under the rain. I'd be sharing my umbrella with that special someone. We'd hold hands and share warm hugs..





..Tapos matatalsikan kami ng putik ng dumadaang truck.Wahaha.
Then the rest would be history. LOL.

NAME: mae angeline robles gagarin.
BIRTHDAY: march.22.1988.
WHERE TO FIND HER: malate.manila.
me-ann.mei.gelai.ge.angelina.
blue extremes 05.concordia college.
ba development studies.up manila.

EMAIL AT: lefthandah@yahoo.com

''Close the door. write with no one looking over your shoulder. don't try to figure out what other people want to hear from you...figure out what you have to say. it's the one and only thing you have to offer.''
---Barbara Kingsolver

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